Life can be amazing…
Life can be fun…
Life can be monotonous
Life can be as interesting as Wayne Rooney’s auto biography…
These are the fundamentals, and now we know them, we must then understand them!
I see hundreds of people daily, complaining via Facebook that their lives are shit, how their boyfriend just ran off to Barbados with a Taiwanese he/she called Juan… how their cat doesn’t look at them the same way since the ‘drunken incident’ and all manner of other farcical and depressive situations…
I personally think the solution to this is all about perspective. If you woke up every morning knowing that your bank account is fuller than Eric Pickles’ stomach… then rubbing away feverishly at a scratch card to match 3 symbols to find out if you’ve won a million… wouldn’t have quite the same buzz to it…
Equally, that unparalleled feeling of delight when a Chav walks into a lamp post… Or sits in dog shit… Or just generally makes an arse of himself…
Would NOT be he same if it happened every 13 seconds. (Okay the first week would be good but then perhaps just annoying)
What I’m trying to promote here is balance!
Life is an oxymoron, in which we all crave nice things, but too much of a nice thing makes it shit.
Having a gorgeous, loyal and trustworthy girlfriend is rarer than finding a picture of Aemon Holmes which doesn’t make him look like a personification of a Big Mac
However if every girl out there was stunning, moral and had a shred of decency then it would make the initial find less unique!
Of course you may be thinking ‘Shut up you nonce, what do you know?However, you are on my blog, where my opinion is king… so if you disagree, feel free to sod off.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news ladies and gents but more often than not…
We are sold a turd.
Which is why I say we should appreciate the good things that happen to us and feel sorry for those who are less fortunate.
There are those around the world who wake up every morning in poverty in a Disease ridden hell hole…
Most notably Kerry Katona’s boyfriend…
All suffer on a daily basis…
Yet we complain when our cheese toastie is slightly over done.
Its perspective people!
Don’t confuse me for some sort of religious do-gooder who is an advocate for hugging trees and giving gang members money for teddy bears…
That would be about as inaccurate as to suggest that good old Rowen… The Archbishop of Canterbury isn’t a completely idiotic and useless bellend.
No I just don’t like when people complain about menial crap…
However there is ONLY one thing worse…
People who expect praise and compliments for redundant an pointless feats.
Congratu-fucking-lations!!!!…. You successfully made ‘insta-mash’ without your head spontaneously combusting and retardedly mushing your fingers into the mix…
There is a medal in the post…
I did call the Parade Commission to authorise an honorary parade in celebration of your achievement… But unfortunately they are fully booked for some who instagrammed a cake they baked earlier without burning down the house…
To everyone who does this.
I hope Piers Morgan sneaks in through your bedroom window tonight and talks to you…
Or a painful death…
At this present moment I’m struggling to decide which is worse.
Food for thought.
robdowdsfoodforthought 